Say Your Vows

Have you made vows to yourself?
What did that look like?

My vow to myself was very significant.

I vowed to love myself MORE.

I promised  that I would love myself no matter what anyone else thought. No matter how hard the decision.  No matter who would be angered and appalled. I was going to protect myself first.

My heart.
My energy.
My sanity.

My ability to do the work in the world I was born to do.

I made this promise because I was ready to break a cycle that had been repeated my entire life. The cycle of being everyone else’s everything and leaving nothing left for me.

My mom needed my help for just about everything.
My grandparents relied on me to be the glue of the family.
My relationships involved either: takers of my heart or drainers of my soul. 

People expected a certain Selena -- the responsible, giving, and she-will-drop-everything-for-anyone Selena.

I was done.

That was at the end of 2014.
Right after my mom's memorial and I turned 40.

I made hard decisions that next year.
I was DAMN proud of myself.

I was able to honor who I had been.
I was in LOVE with who I was becoming.
I was being true to ME.

But it didn't last. 

I have no one to blame.
It wasn’t my family, or my kids, or my brother, or my father, or my relationships.

No.
It was me.

I started to compromise on my promise.
Bending it to fit a situation.
Making excuses because it was easier than making a decision.

How did I let that happen?

Why do I give away pieces of myself, when I can choose differently?

I made a vow to myself.
And I broke it.
I'm letting that go and starting over. 

This is my journey:
To value my voice, my heart, and my needs enough to stay strong, even when the decision is not popular or easy.

 

Creating a commitment to one’s self requires a strength that needs to be built. A muscle that needs constant exercise. And that is how I’m choosing to grow.

If not now, when?

There is no more time to waste. My life experience is here. Yes, I will make mistakes. That’s a part of life, but I will refocus myself continually by asking myself this question daily:

"What is the most loving thing I can do for myself, in order to reach my goals and be of the highest good to the Divine?"

It’s time to say your vows.
Commit to the greater good.
Commit to owning your worth.
Commit to loving yourself to show others that power.

What will the answer be to this question today?