Controlling Your Fear

Fear spiral.
You feel it.
But what is it really?

How is it that we get sucked down to a place that cages us to wrestle with discomfort and pain?

It’s simple.

We let it happen.

Discomfort is born out of some pain inside of you that is triggered. Maybe that pain is from a past experience and you learned that certain actions, words, or even looks from another person can bring up this wave of yuck and immediately cause you to defend yourself, protect yourself, and react as a way to “survive.”

It’s like a very calm and still lake. Peaceful.
A stone is thrown in the water and a ripple is made.
It’s a disturbance in the peace.
It doesn’t feel good.

So you begin to manipulate the environment to keep more stones from being thrown in your lake.

You build huge walls around the lake.
You remove all the rocks around the lake.
You start to pace the perimeter to keep intruders from messing with the lake.
 

And then it rains.
Shit.

Look at all that energy you just used to try to control a situation that actually resides INSIDE of you.

You can put up walls, you can remove yourself from a situation, you can define who gets to be in our space.
You can be control a freak to our external environment.

Does that change your internal map?

The only thing that can bring sunshine over your lake is releasing the inner problem. Holding onto it causes a repetitive cycle of pain, reaction, and exhaustion. Rinse and repeat.

Use your power of choice.

Let it go.
Don’t become attached to the outcome.

“Remind yourself that your identity is not defined by your external experiences, it’s defined by your internal spirit.”

Do the work.
Ask for help.
Love YOU More.

*Disclaimer: I found this essay in my archives. I'm guessing I was inspired by a book. My heart is telling me it is Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. The lake analogy may in fact have been his original idea, with my spin on this information. 

Don’t be attached to the outcome.