Stress seems to sneak into our lives and cling to us like a tired and hungry 3 year old.
The world we live in brings an exorbitant amount of pressure, expectation, and responsibility to women. When you are a working mom, this can compound the problem. You wear many hats, feel pulled in multiple directions at once, and often feel very alone in this journey called life. This way of seeing your role in the world can create a feeling of stress. I certainly am not immune to this feeling, but I have come a long way from letting it take me down and wrecking me for days, weeks, and months.
I used to make jokes like, “Wine. Saving children’s lives since 2007,” “I’ll sleep when I die,” or my favorite “My diet is coffee.” The thing was, I wasn’t joking. This was how I felt about my life. The stress did get to me and it took me down hard. I ended up with stage three adrenal fatigue and hypothyroidism compounded by reverse T3 syndrome. I was so fatigued, that going for a slow walk resulted in a three-hour nap, minimum. I was told not to exercise, to quit my high stress job, and definitely no more triathlons. Seven months later, most of those days in bed (mind you I was a just divorced single mom), I was able to get back to a functioning life.
Once you’ve damaged yourself, you’ll have to pay close attention to what your body is telling you and manage your stress and energy like another child. I’d like you to avoid all of this. Bed rest is not a vacation. I want to share with you the top 4 ways that I now manage my stress and stay healthy.
THE TOP 4 WAYS TO MANAGE YOUR STRESS
I know you want some really juicy "How to's." You might be disappointed by the simplicity of it all.
Sleep 7-8 hours consistently- I know this isn't news to you. I know you want to fight this. It's your choice: continue to feel like a zombie, or get some rest. If you have kids, this might mean asking for help. My youngest didn’t sleep through the night for 14 months. I get it! Make a deal with your partner. Call your bestie, your parents, your neighbor! Hire a night-time childcare provider. You cannot work on empty. You must sleep.
Say NO - I know this makes you cringe, but do it anyway. Say “NO” to obligations and expectations that you honestly rather not do. Say “NO” to your inner critic when it yells at you for not being ‘perfect,’ or you should be working harder. Nope, not today! What would be the worst thing that would happen if you just said, "NO?" More importantly, what freedom would you feel if you said, “NO?”
Stop telling yourself you are so stressed - Where you put your focus is what you create. Notice how you feel when you think or say, "I'm so stressed out!" You probably feel tension in your chest, tightening in your throat, and maybe the sting of tears down your cheeks. What if you were to shift your words just a bit. What if you were to try something like, "I feel stress, but also determination." (or focused, resolved, curious, open to a solution, etc), or my favorite response when my kids ask me if I’m okay, “I’m just having emotions, but I will be okay.”
Let go of the “uncontrollables” - The truth is, you are only able to control yourself and your reaction to the stressors in your life. The rest is mostly out of your control. Not your circus, not your monkeys. The sooner you are able to lean into this truth, the faster you will be able to let it go.
While these tips might not clear out stress entirely at first, over time, it will subside.
When you begin to have awareness of how much stress and overwhelm you carry, you will be able to see a noticeable shift when you implement these 4 strategies. Just start with ONE of the above. Practice it daily for 5-7 days, and when it becomes a solid habit, move to the next. Or, if you are ready to dive in, go for as many of the 4 strategies as possible! After a week, ask yourself, “Do I feel better? Even just a tiny bit?” If the answer is YES, you are on your way to less stress and more ease! You’ll even be able to put down that metaphorically clingy toddler and feel freedom from crippling stress.
If you are still struggling with stress, overwhelm, and exhaustion, grab yourself the Burnout Checklist to see if we need to go deeper into your healing.
XO
Selena