As a single mom, there are a LOT of things that I could get upset about.

I could demand that my kids do all their chores, never swear, and never get upset at me. I'd rather poke my eye out with a fork. Fighting with them over silly things like chores and their emotions, to me, is exhausting.

Let me break it down:

1. Chores:

Oh, don't get my wrong, they DO chores. What I don’t do is hold them to MY standard of clean. I teach them what I expect and when they master that, I up their game a bit. I give them time to learn.

I've also learned that rattling off a list is overwhelms them. I started writing their chores on a white board and giving them a time frame. There is a WHOLE lot less chore drama if I let them figure it out without 5 million reminders.

2. Swearing: 

Well, to be fair, I cuss like a sailor. I NEVER used to swear, but funny what happens when you go through a divorce, are bed bound for 7 months, lose your mom, and go broke. 

I've taught them when it's appropriate to use cuss words: It needs to be in the right context AND said for emotional heft. Not just because it makes them feel cool or rebellious. So when one calls the other an "asshole," I can usually agree it's an accurate statement. 

3. Yelling and fighting with me: 

Kids have emotions. So do I. 

This can end up in a fight because *I* end up wanting to control their emotions. It usually doesn't end well when I let MY emotions get the best of me. These days, we all work to read each others moods and emotions. 

I know each kid needs something different to diffuse their BIG PUBESCENT emotions. *It's rough!* They know when they've pushed mom too far. We are learning how to get through this together and it's working. *Thank GOD*

In order to get to this place of parenting a teen and pre-teen, I've had to let go of strict rules, my need for control, and my perception of what "good mom" parenting looks like. While this was hard, and some days I still struggle with it, I'm so glad I was willing to shake 'perfection,' and settle for 'good enough.'

What have you been able to let go of?

What are you willing to do to go from the stress of 'perfection' to 'good enough?'

I’d love to hear your replies!