Why is it so hard to ask for what we need?
We complain that we are:
We say things like:
- Why can't I ever eat out where I want to go?
- Why does all our time together (spouse/partner and I) involve the kids?
- I wish he would just tell me to go out with the girls (or get a mani-pedi, or take a nap...)
- Why can't someone just offer to watch my kids?
- Why can't someone just take care of me -- just for a moment?
Why do we do this?
Because we are trying to appease the other people involved while simultaneously ignoring our own needs.
Hey, I get it.
I used to say all those things too.
And resentment began to build.
It built to the point of utter exhaustion, illness, and a divorce.
Please ladies, don't do that.
What I have learned the VERY hard way is:
We have to ASK.
We have to speak our minds about what we need.
We can't expect anything different if we keep it to ourselves and *hope* someone will just figure it out and offer exactly what we need.
Lovely, everyone is in their own head, including ourselves.
We can assume, but we don't really know how people feel.
So why do we expect others to have ESP?
And why do we complain when they don't?
Because they should "Know me?"
That's a poor rationalization.